Brooklyn -A failed Adoption part 1

We sat down with our adoption worker as she tried to explain everything that was happening. I think that all I heard was blah blah blah baby.

I didn't understand that she was telling me that CPS stepped in, and they're in control of what's happening with the baby. It didn't matter that the mother signed her rights away, and chose us. We would now have to become foster care approved. We would get visits with the baby at the PICC center, and so would the biological mother. The baby would have to stay at the hospital (that was three hours away from us) for a month. In that time they wanted us to become state licensed as foster parents.

We didn't care. We would do whatever we needed to, to bring our baby home. Johannes worked, we drove to the hospital, we had to do training to become foster parents and a million other things in that month.

Again, we didn't care. That's what parents do, for their baby. I took the one picture I had of her and showed every single person I came in contact with. We were already so in love.

The first time I saw her was in the hospital. The rooms had to stay dark, and we were trained how to coax her to eat. She hated it, but she loved me. The feeling of my arms was the best part. They were sore. I finally had a baby nestled in them, and that tiny little girl, gave them a workout. I didn't know how much I could love, I didn't know how quickly my heart would open for that sweet baby, but it was instantly. Johannes and I fought over who would hold her, and change her, and feed her and rock her. Her soft skin was rose petals, her brown eyes were chocolates, and her brown fluff on her tiny head was elegant. She was perfect to us as we viewed her with parental eyes.

That horrendous month flew by, we managed to do all that was asked. The case worker (who we had to visit with now) kept mentioning our babies big brother. The night before we were meant to go to the hospital to pick up our baby, the case worker told us that she would like to keep the bio siblings together. If we didn't take the big brother, they would move our little baby girl to the foster home where the brother was at.

We had a choice to make. Wash our hands of the whole thing, or become parents of two little children. A 16month boy named Conner, and our little baby girl who we were naming Brooklyn. We didn't understand it, but we said that we would take both. The case worker seemed happy with our choice and said they would move him in a week, so we could get settled with the baby first.

The day before fathers day, we brought our little girl Brooklyn home. It wasn't easy, being a new parent never is, but the additional medical issues from her birth (being born with drugs in her system) made it a little more complicated. During that time, I had to prep for a little boy as well. I rushed, to prepare our spare room for a 16month old little boy.

I was just so in love with our baby and the thought of another child in our house was scary but exciting as well. I couldn't believe that in one week we would be a parent to two children.

In part two we get Conner, and then we find out about visits with the bio family.